Если правый не любит оружия, то он его попросту не покупает.
Если левый не любит оружия, он хочет все оружие запретить.
Если правый считает себя вегетарианцем, он не ест мяса.
Если левый считает себя вегетарианцем, он хочет запретить мясо для всех.
Если правый гомосексуален, он или она тихо ведет свою жизнь.
Если левый гомосексуален, он требует к себе уважения в законодательном порядке.
Если правый разорен, он думает о том, как улучшить свою ситуацию.
Левый размышляет о том, кто возьмет шефство над ним.
Если правому не нравится ведущий токшоу, он переключается на другой канал.
Левый требует, чтобы все, кто ему не нравится, были уволены.
Неверующий правый просто не посещает богоугодное заведение.
Неверующий левый требует прекращения всякого упоминания о Боге и религии.
Если правый это все прочитает, то перешлет своим друзьям, чтобы они хорошо посмеялись.
Левый все это удалит, потому что почувствует себя «оскорбленным»
Автор: Михаэль Кантрелл

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Характер у меня замечательный, только нервы у всех какие-то слабые...
Дорога под названием «Потом», приводит в страну под названием «Никогда»

Тогда кто у нас Трамп???

И ведь так и есть )

Спасибо, посмеялась )))

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Пусть все ваши пожелания мне, отзеркалясь, сторицей вернутся к вам! Да будет так! (Это не шутка)
Окошко для раскаяния открыто для всех у данного эгрегора и можно не произносить вслух, не переживайте)

А как назвать того, кто и не то и не сё?

Мне оба варианта не подходят.

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Ноги дурные совсем
Голове нет покоя от них
Наступают на грабли

как начинающий садовник
поклонник хайку и басё
поставь в саду на камень камень
и всё

- Муж без жены как дерево без дятла. (китайская народная мудрость)

Что-то я очень быстро лежу…

Оскорбленность выражена довольно четко.

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Характер у меня замечательный, только нервы у всех какие-то слабые...
Дорога под названием «Потом», приводит в страну под названием «Никогда»

индепендент

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Характер у меня замечательный, только нервы у всех какие-то слабые...
Дорога под названием «Потом», приводит в страну под названием «Никогда»

А еще левые победили в 1917 году

Ещё когда правые выходят на демонстрации, полиция защищает их от насилия. Когда левые выходят на демонстрации, полиция защищает от них себя и находящееся на пути демонстрации чье-то имущество.
Правые идут на демонстрации бесплатно, левых просят пойти за деньги.
Это конечно о крайне левых и правых

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Offline is the new Luxury

I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said she wanted to be president of the United States.

Both of her parents, liberal Dems, were standing there, so I asked her what she would do first. She replied: "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people." Her parents beamed.

“Wow, what a worthy goal,” I told her, “but you don't have to wait until your president to do that. You can come over to my house, mow the lawn, pull weeds and sweep my driveway, and I will pay you $50. Then I will take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward a new house and food.”

She thought it over for a few seconds, then asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over to your house and do the work and you can just pay him the $50?"

I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Девочке надо сказать, что у бомжа ПТСД после войны в Ираке, но это его проблемы.

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I've made a long voyage and been to a strange country, and I've seen the dark man very close.

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of coffee, he
takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joes employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

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Не зарекайся - жизнь поднимет планку; не осуждай - судьба меняет цвет (с) Трофим

Артемида,

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Единственным истинным признаком успеха является возможность заниматься в жизни тем, что приносит тебе счастье

Как сделать жен военных демократами - отобрать у них все социальные блага: бесплатную страховку, детский сад, стипендии в университет. Пускай идут зарабатывают.

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I've made a long voyage and been to a strange country, and I've seen the dark man very close.

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Хлопала, хлопаю и буду хлопать...

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Хлопала, хлопаю и буду хлопать...